LOVE'S DEFINITION

Psalm 36:7 “How priceless is Your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of Your wings.” (NIV)
Colossians 3:14 “Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” (NAS)

Being the artistic-type that I am, I feel things very deeply - sometimes maybe too deeply. This makes for some interesting “discussions”... (Okay, this can also lead to some very heated debates – ARGUMENTS! Yes, it’s true.)

So is real love – that “love at first sight”, tingly all over, passionate, romantic-movie-type feeling??? Even though I had logically thought through who I was dating and why, so I would KNOW I was choosing a really good Christian guy, I still felt some of that. So when we became engaged, I was determined to never lose those feelings.

Well, just as soon as the honeymoon was over, those feelings were gone. Unable to analyze this properly, I put this concern in the back of my mind to assess at a later date. Meanwhile, the feelings had been replaced with a kind of peaceful contentment... like we had already been together forever and this is how it would - should always be.

About a year later, I started singing solos again on Sunday mornings. As I waited to go up, I became very nervous – and then realized that these were the very same tingling feelings that we like to call “chemistry.” Well, in that case, I do not want those feelings in my marriage. Why in the world would I want to be nervous around my spouse? Does my hair look okay? Do my jeans make me look slim? What does he think about me now? Forget that! We have moved on.

Love, especially in marriage, should be a commitment. You cannot fall out of that – you would have to decide that - because real love is a choice. It is a conscious, selfless action towards someone. Your thinking shouldn’t be “What is that person doing for me so I will love them?” – your thinking should be “How am I loving that person?”

Most importantly is our walk with God. Imagine a bicycle wheel. The hub represents God, and each of us is on a different spoke. The closer we get to God, the closer we get to each other. When we make God our hub, our pillar of strength, our foundation of love – marriage will last. We make mistakes and fail each other, but God never fails. This is security. This is love.